We have gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of Jessie Aline McCreary. We have heard about some of her younger years, and her years as a mother. We have heard a bit about her many adventures later in her life. I would like to take a few minutes to talk about her as the person so important in my life. The person I loved so dearly, Grandma McCreary.

I can’t recall the first time we were introduced, I was about 3 or 4 weeks old at the time. I’m sure we discussed it at some point in time, but the conversation has been lost to memory. What I can also not recall though is there ever being a point in my life that she was not a significant part of it. Whether we lived in the same house or on opposite sides of the country, Grandma, my Grandma as I knew her, was always there to support me in any way that I needed or that she could.

Many of my fondest childhood memories center on time spent with my Grandma. There were lots of walks and lots of bus rides. Many movies and other activities. I watched a lot of “The Price Is Right”, and “Murder’ She Wrote” as a child. I remember one of my most inexplicably favorite activities was giving her pedicures while she watched television. Her feet were so kind of gnarled from her young years spent in fashionable shoes that I found them fascinating and was determined to somehow fix them.  A few other things I learned from her besides the importance of comfortable shoes were that if you must use a public restroom at a fast food restaurant or someplace similar you have to buy something. Otherwise you are being tacky. That you must always give your seat on public transportation up to those older, younger, or more infirm than you.  A big thing I learned from her, mostly by example, was the importance of matching things. Garment wise mostly, shoes and purses for example. Lipstick and nail polish. Even when she no longer carried a purse or often had her nails done anymore in her final years at the nursing home it was extremely important to her (as the staff soon discovered) that her clothes not only match, but match to her specific expectations. To help her in this my mother and bought her socks in every conceivable color, and for a while she changed clothes several times a day. Without help whenever possible, which was strictly against the rules.  

Difficult as she could be she was not unpopular with the staff at the nursing home. She spoke her mind, she remained clever and witty on many occasions until the last few months of her life. She fought to remain independent until she was incapable physically of fighting anymore.  Having worked in long term care of various types for some time I am familiar with which types of patients one can become attached to and which types of patients it is harder to care for. Even though Grandma was definitely a handful sometimes, she had a knack for being entertaining enough for the staff not to mind so much.

All (or at least most) of the women in our Bettler/McCreary family have a history of being head-strong and what some might call willful. Grandma was no exception, nor was her sister, nor is my mother, my sister, myself or my niece. I’m not positive yet, but I am almost certain that my own daughter, Delia Aline, Grandma’s namesake will be just the same way. Much to my chagrin, and the delight of my own mother. Because being a grandmother is in many ways so much easier than being a mother. Grandma may not have always approved of my behavior or choices, especially in adolescence and young adulthood but she never expressed overtly outright displeasure or real unhappiness with anything I did. She didn’t have to, that wasn’t in the job description.

I would feel remiss if I did not mention my great-aunt Madeline while we are talking sassy family. Hours spent in the company of both sisters have given me a sense of humor that has helped through many a dark and difficult time. I can recall things that each said about each other to me, in private. About the things they admired most in each other and all of their differences and similarities. One of the things that gives me comfort is the hope in that whatever may lie beyond this mortal coil, if there is awareness, then may they share it with each other and all the others they have known, loved, and lost.

Never having known my grandfather I do not think it fair or appropriate to say much on his relationship with Aline. But from reading her correspondence and journals I do know that she certainly indeed loved him very dearly, at least for a while. It also speaks to me that she chose to never attempt romantic love again after that relationship failed.

From within the boxes and boxes of photographs, letters, and other memorabilia she kept throughout her life I know Grandma could get and enjoyed getting the attention of many young men. I had considered reading a collection of letters of various shades of devotion she held onto from the early 1940’s but decided against it, mostly in the interest of time. So regardless of how things turned out in the end it was love that drove her to choose Keller McCreary to marry, and not anything else.

The joy her children brought to her cannot be disputed. And the success they have had in their own lives, their wit, not to mention good looks and intelligence...these are all things that she passed onto them and things that will stay with us for generations.

Although I do not think many of her friends or relatives ever realized it Grandma was much more sensitive and emotional than she often let on. This is indicated by conversations between us that will remain forever private, and further indicated by the sheer amount of correspondence she carried with her through a lifetime of moves all over the country. Not the easiest task for a woman who never learned to drive a car. Among other items were a 5 year diary from 1937 to 1941, an envelope containing every column of “Car Talk” her son Matthew ever wrote, and much much more.  We will never know how she winnowed it down through the years but I can say that an emotionally detached person doesn’t hold on to these things for a lifetime in the way that she did.

In closing I would like to thank you for coming today to honor my Grandmother. And I would like to thank my grandmother for letting me have the opportunity to care for her in these past few months and years in the way that she had cared for me when I was young and needed her. I will never regret a minute of time spent with her, no matter how painful it was while it was happening, because it was extremely important to me that she knew I will never forget her, and not even death can break our relationship.

Thank you.